Friday, June 8, 2012
My Dearest Daddy,
I'm sorry I wasn't there to say goodbye to you.. But I know that you are not one for goodbyes anyhow.
I regret not being able to tell you these things in person, but I know you are listening now. I wanted to say thank you for being my dad when you didn't really have too, and for loving me everyday of my life. Thank you for always telling me stories about me running down the hill on Enright Ave so I could go for a ride with you and mom. Thank you for telling me if I could catch the bunny, I could keep it. I know you will laugh now when you hear me tell Jack the same thing. Thank you for not telling mom the times you caught me sneaking out of the house, and for the times you did tell her. I won't thank you though, for smooshing the bologna and cheese sandwich in my face when I told you ten times I didn't want one, until I saw you eating yours. However, I will say that I completely understand now why you did it since I have Jack doing the same thing to me.
Although you had a unique way of verbalizing your life lessons to Jackie and I, I appreciate you opening my eyes to the way of this world. I am strong, I am independent, I am not naive, and that is because of you. My son will learn the same lessons you taught me.
I will remember you playing darts at the Club, and taking me fishing on the pier and putting the worm on my hook. I will remember the first time I saw you cry, when Tony Augun passed away, and i learned that even strong, brave men are allowed to cry. I will remember sitting on the arm rest in your El Camino and going for rides, pulling over to pick blackberries as well,as the time you through my doll out the window on Broad Street and mom yelled at you. I will remember the time you shaved your beard and I told you your head looked like a basketball.
Out of all the memories I have of you, My favorite was your face the first time you saw Jack and the first time he called you Papa. It was just you, me and Jack in the room, and your face lit up like fireworks on the fourth of July. Jack will miss you daddy, and so will I. Words on paper cannot express the love I have for you and the sadness that you are gone. I will take comfort in knowing that you are all around me, and one day we will meet again. I know you and grandma are with me, happy, free of pain, and watching my little boy grow up.
You are forever in my heart and on my mind.
Your loving daughter,
Toni
